Smilin' Strange (diello) wrote,
Smilin' Strange


I'm trying to convince myself the depression hasn't started creeping back in, but instead am just getting too comfortable in my new-found mental wellness, and it's really LAZINESS setting in.

It could also be that my work schedule has been thrown off balance. I am 9-1 Tuesdays through Fridays, but since they didn't prepare properly for various important workers going on vacations all at once (one for the whole summer), I have nearly doubled my hours to pick up the slack. I'm not allowed to work more than a certain number of hours per week. It doesn't seem like a big jump, but the hours are all over the place.

I had a breakdown of the hours in this spot, but I decided this post might already be boring enough without it ;)

By the time I get home, I'm often wiped out, and have to nap. When I get up, no matter how awake I am, I just don't want to leave the bed for anything. It's too hot in the living room. The bedroom is air-conditioned. And the computer is my tv. No reason to leave. I'm not even eating much anymore (which might also be contributing to my lack of energy).

(edit: confirmed- not eating enough is totally contributing to my lack of energy. Instead of working straight through 9-4, I had a break for lunch, and now I'm home and NOT exhausted! Wooo!)

I've had laundry - clean laundry, which Charles does, piling up on my closet floor for weeks. At this point, they're too wrinkly to even wear on days I'm not working. Yesterday, I finally got to it, and of course, my steamer went on the fritz. But I tried. Got almost everything that needs to be hung up done. I still have a moderate pile of wrinkles that need to be steamed, and folded, and then I'm gold.

Can't let that happen again. I really need to develop the habit of doing things when they should be done.

But the laziness has stunted my violin practice (I go days at a time without touching it). And am uninspired to make jewelry for the convention (I have made a whole bunch, though, so I think I'll be okay).

Maybe, also, it's time to step away from Facebook again, or at least remove it from my phone again. Fucking productivity-vampire.
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