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When I was young, I saw Heavenly Creatures - Peter Jackson's first non-gory, serious movie that changed the course of his movies forever. I dreamed of having a friendship like Juliet's and Paul's. It was a fantasy I could escape into instead of causing anger*.

*There's a common theme in real life where children could escape into fantasies of books and shows, even children with terrible lives could escape into a story - but me? I got angry at Alice and Dorothy and whoever else got to leave their home lives only to leave the wonderful other-world for their dismal home life again, when all I wanted was for a character to get away and never return. So few stories since have fit my standards.

Things get a touch sexual between the leads in Heavenly Creatures, but they'd explained that they were role-playing their hetero counterpart characters, and their appointed male Saints.

I was mad when people equated this to actually being gay. I was mad because I wasn't gay, and that had taken away this projection I'd put upon them - the only fantasy I could escape into: having a friend anywhere near that close.

I didn't really know about bisexuality back then, so the only raw feelings I have over this issue now is that calling them gay erases the possibility of them being bi.

So I still watch Gotham - I know, most of the storyline is shit (if you stopped early on, I assure you, it's still shit), but they have some decent representation in sexuality (even bi-visibility! Shocking!). And I still really love the Penguin's story. I know his actor, Robin Lord Taylor, is gay. His character remains the only one not driven (wholly or partially) by sex or romance. No idea the sexuality of the character, but without that kind of drive, he's become an asexual icon for me.

And I was mad over the first fan theories of Penguin and Riddler being gay for each other, but this time, it wasn't because that was taking away another projection. Riddler was holding Penguin against his will, albeit with the best intentions, but still.

Penguin had such hard times brought upon him, losing every friend and family member in the worst possible ways. I felt connected to him in that way. I wanted to escape into a fantasy where I was his friend. And the Riddler's true motives are still an actual riddle to me (well done there) and I don't trust him, and he's going to end up being one more person to tear into the Penguin.

But then last night, raw feelings for Riddler aside, I felt really warm seeing this bond of friendship sealed between them - softly lit, dripping with 'misdirection' and cinematically shot to give the fangirls their squee of being right about them all along. And it's super cute. I do hope for the best between them.

But you would understand a protective feeling over any of my favourite characters, right?