Smilin' Strange (diello) wrote,
Smilin' Strange
diello

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Long Time, No See, part 2

Brian calls often, but I can never pick up because he either calls during work or when I'm busy. I try to pick up at least once a week when I can (seriously, he calls a lot, and once a week is my best - it's nuts), because I've finally gotten to the point where I'm past the hurtful things he said to me in a schizophrenic rage, and past the avoidance phase, and I actually miss him. And this coincided nicely with him being hospitalized and going back on the medication, which brought him from raving lunatic, to chattering non-stop about things that don't make sense (even by Brian standards), to chattering non-stop about things making a little more Brian-like sense, to finally pausing occasionally to allow for conversation.

I went to visit him at Rochester Psychiatric Center (RPC) on Friday. I haven't been there in about 8 years, since visiting my friend Keegan. When I visited Keegan, I was ushered into a large room, like a prison visitation room, with lots of tables and folks visiting at each one. Visiting Brian was different.

I had to take a small labyrinth to get to where I could visit him. Brian came toward me with excitement and handed me his headphones and CD player, and told me to hold this while he ran to get his stuff, as an orderly unlocked the music room for us to visit in.

He was excited that I brought him coffee. It made me happy to see him enjoy something, instead of spitting and dumping it. He emptied a pillowcase full of papers and notebooks and books onto the table, being careful of the coffee, and showed me a bunch of things he was working on. Reading a couple of Plath books, writing a new novel (he's a good writer, and his books are popular among his friends), and he even drew me a valentine, in case I didn't get to see him again this month. It was so sweet.

I let him do most of the talking, and he talked about angelic items in his throat - a cupid's bow on one side, and seraphim on the other. He even touched me to show me on my own neck, which is a really big deal - he doesn't touch. He'll tap you on the arm or leg or something to get your attention or something, but other than that, he doesn't touch and doesn't like being touched, so yeah. Really big deal. I admit, with his fingers and thumb at either side of my trachea, I did think for a nanosecond that he might choke me.

But he didn't. And the conversation was really nice. Like we were back at sitting outside Java's and not in some sterile room being monitored.

It was so nice, I might just go back this week.
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