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I just got done bawling my eyes out.

First problem- my endometriosis (aka cramps comparable to getting your balls kicked in. all day) is acting up again. The pain goes down to my knees, and even if I COULD make my appointment with my personal trainer today, I would have had to call in the towel early. It hurts so bad.

Second problem- the Return of the Nightmares. Took a nap when I got home, and woke up three hours later when one of my usual "hiding in a giant clusterfuck maze-like house" dreams turned into a hotseat dream, where I was about to get my surgery. I started calling out for my mommy, and then it turned into a psychological nightmare involving my feelings for my mother, and how I can finally get past the shit she put me through and accept her as my mother after all these years. Then they injected me, told me the cadaver bone didn't take, and I woke up.

Third problem (AND WHAT DID IT IN FOR ME)- I tried to save a spider today, but it died when I almost freed it from the sticky tape. It was a big spider, and Charles, being very afraid of spiders, wouldn't let me do it in the bedroom, where it was caught. I took it to the kitchen, where it was still struggling to get it's mostly-free foot completely free. I administered a drop of canola oil and let it soak up underfoot before I helped it get that foot free and then I worked on the rest. It was almost totally free when it gave up and collapsed face first in the layer of oil, presumably drowning... this was what really made me cry. I talked to it, said DON'T GIVE UP, we're almost there... and then..... :(

I'm tearing up just thinking of it again.

On the plus side, one thing I don't have to worry about anymore is shipping my Summer Collection to Emily for the Mourning Market Event (more details next month).