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Nightmares Fucking Suck

This icon is a relatively accurate depiction of me last night at 4am. Except I was not USING the toilet, I was just sitting on it. But crying and texting.

Because as soon as I fell asleep, I dreamed my best friend Ross ate a gun. Like, proverbially, messily, and not literally (I know in dreams you can literally feast upon whatever you want, but)... I didn't get there in time to stop him. I smashed open his window to get to him and I was too late - he was pulling the trigger as I threw my body through the glass and I saw everything.

I woke up and bawled my eyes out as silently as I could, but that level of stress doesn't come out as quietly as one could hope, and you couldn't even cut that tension with a knife. I had to get up and grab my phone.

I haven't texted him since we took a break from each other, since our fight I never wrote about. It'd been months. Since early February. It's been hard. But I had to. I've been worried in THAT way about him, and I just HAD to.

And he's okay. He did a nice job of calming me down, deflecting from my dream to his, and as usual, to the Ninja Turtles (he is one of the artists for IDW's TMNT comics). It was like old times, sort of.

I love you, Ross. I miss you <3


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 9th, 2014 01:45 pm (UTC)
Ugh, I hate dreams like that. I'm glad that he was willing to talk to you to try and calm you down and that it seemed like it was like old times (even if just sort of). I hope you're a little more at ease now.
Apr. 9th, 2014 05:39 pm (UTC)
It's much better now ^_^
Apr. 9th, 2014 11:11 pm (UTC)
I hate having dreams like that... I used to have dreams of my grandmother dying when I was kid. The only way I could be calmed down was for my mom to call her. I still have those dreams now about Joe and I wake up crying and shaking. I have to physically touch him and wake him up before I can go back to bed.

Apr. 10th, 2014 05:13 pm (UTC)
dreams can be so scary sometimes!!

At least you guys got to reconnect.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )