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Calm

I had the most productive weekend I've had in a very long time, and I did very little in the actual weekend. It was so relaxing.

I had made a list, and declared that I would finish every damn thing on it by Friday (list made on Thursday). After I decided to leave the computer-related stuff for Sunday, I wailed on the list and got it all done.

Most of the things on the list had been started already, but nothing got finished during my week of unruly sadness which involved my general depression mixed with S.A.D. (not having seen the sun for two weeks straight), mixed with massive PMT (unbeknownst at the time, but I should have guessed by how much my tits hurt). Once my period hit, the sun came out again.

Everything got better, as if a huge weight lifted off me. I was seriously hurting. Any time I tried to distract myself with doing things, all I could do was lay down on the floor and break into sobbing fits for no reason I could find. It sucks being a depressed optimist, because here it comes... my sunshine moment: I feel fortunate that I don't have it as bad as others. I mostly get this bad in the winter (though it still sucks when it happens the rest of the year). I can't imagine how hard it must be for you who suffer this hard forever.

Weather control had better not be my uterus's superpower, because if so, then we are going to have a problem. Also, this is the second time in a row I've been in the hot seat at the dentist when I've started my period. Fuck you, uterus.


MOVING FORWARD, the list. I finished it by Friday night, which is what I'd hoped for. The sun didn't actually shine til Saturday, but enough weight lifted from the pmt being over that I was able to drudge up the energy to just do it. And wow. It felt good!

I put the tree up on Black Friday, but before I did, I needed to make room. We have a table in front of our main window, so that had to be moved. But I also had the weight-lifting bench in the way (and believe me, it's been in the way of a lot of things in the living room. So I checked out the bedroom. Hmm... that chest can go in that corner where that broken chair is, and that chair can go to the curb or something (it's currently in the kitchen). I vacuumed 3 times per room once everything had been shifted around. But now there's more room in both rooms. SO much more room! Damn, this should have been this way since the beginning.

So the tree went up. Half the bottom strings went out a few days later (so replacing them made the list). I'd immediately filled up all the room I'd created with holiday hoo-haa (ornaments, boxes, wrapping paper). Things stayed that way for almost a week.

The cleaning frenzy began due to the fact that I have a new violin tutor now. Lauren got a new job in NYC and left town immediately. I'm still keeping in contact with her, though. This new tutor is named Hanna, and she lives right down the street from me! The only downside is that she is $10 more expensive than Lauren, but I am going to try to make it work. I think I can make it work. I hope I can. She likes a month's pay up front, but she's okay with us going week-to-week. I dream of the day when I can shell out $180 all at once - that's more pricey than my & Ch's phone bill!

Had my first lesson with her on Saturday. She is delightful, has a cute side-mullet, and reminds me of a roller-derby girl. We are concentrating on my right armpit and left elbow movements. Very... bionic method. I love it. :)


Saturday afternoon, sun poured into the window, but I needed to do computery stuff, so instead of sitting in the dreary bedroom, I moved my computer out onto the living room coffee table and basked in the glow. Holy shit, I needed that. And repeat on Sunday (and briefly on monday). This move was the best idea ever!

Then I realized something.

With the living room clean (and staying clean now that I'll have a weekly guest), with nothing on my list to do, I felt very relaxed! I can't remember the last time I felt truly relaxed in my own home.

Shit. I could get used to that.

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If you read the list, the top is stuff for "Lydia's Display" Lydia is my ball-joint doll, and I have decided that I need to change her up every month, plus it'll give me good practice for set-building. What follows is the December set. I made everything except the tree (I did make the ornaments), and the doll + her attire. That fireplace was a bit of a pain.

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I also did a "family" shot. Don't go looking for my photoshop mistake ;)

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And here were a couple of teasers I posted while setting up:

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Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
pax_athena
Dec. 9th, 2014 06:22 pm (UTC)
I like the feeling of a to-do list finished :) Perhaps the only reason I like to-do lists. But then again, it's sometimes also super depressing if something comes in between and I can't finish it, so writing one is always a two-sided thingie ... But it helps more than it does not, especially right now (given how it stays grey all the time all I want is to curl myself into a ball and read fic and stay in bed ...).
diello
Dec. 9th, 2014 08:20 pm (UTC)
Oh, have I got some delicious tea for you! I'm sending you a thing to make those curl-up days better ^_^
(you're back in Boston, right?)
pax_athena
Dec. 12th, 2014 05:05 pm (UTC)
Jup, in Boston until the 17th, then in Germany for two weeks, than back in Boston again ...
touchofgr3y
Dec. 10th, 2014 12:50 am (UTC)
Hooray for getting all of that stuff done! And for liking the new violin instructor :)

Your display looks great!
diello
Dec. 16th, 2014 07:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Of course, I've let some things fall through the cracks again, but at least I've got my head above the water.
meathiel
Dec. 10th, 2014 06:24 am (UTC)
Yay for a finished to-do list ... :D

I like the dolls and the display. Must've been a lot of work?
diello
Dec. 16th, 2014 07:50 pm (UTC)
I failed at the chair 3 times at least, but I kinda like the end result. I'm going to be mighty busy making a new display every month!
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )