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Another Friend Bites The Dust

I have a long history of best friends and boyfriends dying (the worst case, being my best friend / boyfriend / soulmate Paul). Last night, I found out my best friend Brian is SAFE. But our mutual friend Matt "Dillar" died.

I didn't really like Dillar that much at first. Didn't go out of my way to hang out with him, but we sat at the same table sometimes, and we were friendly. I actually started to warm up to him and did not feel awkward around him anymore. He had terrible taste in music, but whatever.

But Dillar started the chain reaction of new friends I'd made this year. I'd tried to catch the smokers by smoking, and he took the bait first. He asked for a trade of cigarettes (my clove for two of his menthols). Then he started hitting on me in a really awkward and creepy way. He has the same affliction as Brian, more or less, only he's really socially awkward, even on the medication, and has more "shut off" days. But he bummed a cigarette, got awkward at me, then Tim came around to save me from him. Introduced us. We talked a while, then Brian showed up. And my world fell into place again.

Dillar is directly responsible for me and Brian becoming best friends. And since Ross dumped me, I've been worried that this is too good to be true. That I'll be put in my place again by whatever cruel fates I've pissed off, by something happening to Brian. When it happened to Dillar instead, I feel like it was a warning. I didn't cry for him so much as I cried for Brian. Because my luck clearly states it could have easily been Brian.

And I can't keep going here. I'm at work, trying to keep it together, and tearing up at work is kind of a big no-no. Thank goodness it's a slow day.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
touchofgr3y
Aug. 11th, 2015 05:26 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. *hugs*
diello
Aug. 11th, 2015 06:01 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I hope I can find out more soon.
pax_athena
Aug. 12th, 2015 04:00 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry ... *hugs you tightly*
diello
Aug. 12th, 2015 06:18 pm (UTC)
*hugs!!*
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )