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Bodily Damage

I decided I need to go back to the gym nearly two months ago. I've been exactly one time, last Monday. Then my body turned against me.

"Oh, you wanna go to the gym today? SURPRISE! Early period!"

"Think you're ready to go back to the gym? SHINGLES!"
"Yup, you can totally get shingles before 50."
"This patch is going right in your armpit!"

"Shingles not hurting/contagious anymore? How about another period?"
"And it's the worst period in months!"
"And it's gonna last a day longer than usual!"

"Okay, okay. I didn't think you'd have the energy to go to the gym today, but hey, you deserve a moment to yourself..."

"Oh no you don't. Now you get a new allergy reaction. Have some hives."
"Right on your wrist, so you can't use your hand."

"You think pills, creams, and a bandage are going to help? How about I do something to your other wrist..."
"Have that, and the hives, bitch!"

"Ready to go back to the gym? Nah, bro."
"Let's throw in some weather-related mood swings."

"And now for some gut-wrenching intestinal distress you can't get rid of so easily."

"Wait til you see what I have in store for your career."
"Everyone else is sick, mwahahahaha!"


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 29th, 2017 09:11 pm (UTC)
That sounds horrible....all I can say is that I am sorry!
Dec. 1st, 2017 05:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I finally made it back to the gym, and I was so disappointed for not making it over for a month that I overdid it a little and now my abs and thighs are so sore (but aren't in actual pain, thankfully)! XD

Excited to get back into it (hopefully with fewer random things to get in the way)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )